Where do you think all these appalling wars and quarrels come from? Do you think they just happen? Think again. They come about because you want your own way, and fight for it deep inside yourselves. James 4:1 (The Message).
Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that is where life starts. Prov. 4:23 (The Message).
I write fully aware of my own need of grace to watch over my heart, my talk, and my walk. I confess how easy it is to lose sight of God's higher purpose for my talk with every person in every situation. I often speak as if I were unaware that the Lord is listening or forgot that I am called to speak in order to benefit others. (Eph. 4:29-30).
I believe that love and grace deficits in all of us will remain to some degree until Christ returns. I write to remind myself that our awesome God provides the way to overcome the power of indwelling sin in our heart through a grater power! The indwelling power of the Holy Spirit! (Eph. 3:14-20).
Have you attended marriage seminars, classes on effective communication and listening skills? Have you taken personality tests, read books on anger management and problem solving techniques? What about Bible studies that you have attended? Knowledge is wonderful but not enough. Paul prayed that we may have power to grasp the depth of Christ's love which surpasses knowledge, that we may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God (Eph. 3:19).
The indwelling power of the Holy Spirit is activated by God's grace as we genuinely seek to listen and please Him. We can't keep a vigilant watch over our heart on our own. It is done by the Holy Spirit (His grace) plus our cooperation.
Just a couple of hours ago I received a phone call, as the person was talking to me, I noticed my not too gracious thoughts, at the same time I sensed the Holy Spirit reminding me that this person may be encouraged or discouraged by what I say. By His grace I chose to focus on the needs of this person and responded in a gracious and generous manner. It is always a choice! The more sensitive to the Holy Spirit we are, the more automatic our gracious responses become.
Interested in improving your communication skills ?
First. Pay attention to your communication style with people close to you and not too close to you. What happens? Do they bring out the best in you because they are pleasant, agree with you, approve of you, understand you, don't challenge, demand, or interfere with your interests or agenda? Is it all well because you are not crossed?
What happens when you interact with difficult people? Do they bring out the worst in you because they don't understand, agree, or value you? How do you communicate when people challenge, demand, interfere, disrupt, irritate you? Is it all out of control because your desires and expectations are discounted?
Second. Pay serious attention to what the Lord says regarding your heart and communication style -"If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? In a word, what I am saying is, grow up. You are kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out God-created identity.
Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you" Matthew 5:46-48 (The Message).
Third. Practice the habit of personalizing and internalizing Scripture to activate God's glorious grace available to you at any moment. Choose to put off your old-self and to put on Christ's love. Speak (live) graciously and generously.
Remember my last posting? If we let Christ's love fall on us, we can let that love fall on others!
More in Letter six of my book "Letters From Your Father God"
About Maya
- Maya
- is a bi-lingual - English-Spanish Christian psychotherapist in private practice in Houston, Texas. For sixteen years, Maya has been counseling individuals, couples, and families seeking answers for personal and interpersonal conflicts. Maya is committed to help her clients focus not only on behavioral modification but character growth. Maya wrote her own book-workbook “Letters from your Father God” in English and Spanish to walk clients through a practical process of mental, emotional, and spiritual maturity. Maya is originally from Ecuador, South America. She graduated from the Catholic University in Quito-Ecuador. She completed all the State of Texas requirements to obtain her license as a LCSW (Licensed clinical Social Worker). She is also a certified TRT (Trauma Resolution Therapist). Maya lives with Tom, her husband of over thirty years. They have a married daughter and two grandchildren.