• Why do I continually struggle with my relationships?
• Why do I keep doing the same thing over and over again?
• I don’t know who I am. I don’t love myself. I need help!
Over the years, people who come to my clinical practice ask me these questions in different ways. They are seeking help to be able to understand their personal and interpersonal conflicts. Clearly, they feel disconnected from themselves and others. They are truly hurting. Their life functioning has been affected.
Except for cases where medical conditions are the cause of peoples’ struggles, I strongly believe that the mental, emotional, and behavioral conflicts of human beings are connected to deep spiritual needs. These spiritual needs or longings are God-given longings.
Every human being experiences the longing to love and to be loved, and the longing to have meaning and purpose in life. Often, these powerful longings drive human beings to all kinds of pursuits and away from God, the source of true love, power, and purpose. In His grace, God reaches out to people in different ways – appeals to their pain and disappointments to make them aware of their inner thirst and need of Him. Some of us confront our empty soul, change thinking habits (repent), and accept the Lord’s invitation to find rest for our souls -
If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him (John 7:37).
However, Christians who don’t grow in Christ and allow Him to satisfy all their needs, can easily go back to their old ways and become thirsty and emotionally driven souls - digging their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water (Jeremiah 2:13).
Over twenty years ago, my own thirsty soul and existential questions led me to Jesus for meaningful answers. I found that the Bible, the Manual for instruction and wisdom on how to live a fulfilling life, speaks with authority and sufficiency to all people.
I realized that at best, Freud’s words, thoughts, and theories helped me analyze my own and other peoples’ conflicts, but they did not provide adequate answers to fill the empty innermost being. I became convinced that –
God’s Word is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart - Hebrews 4:12.
I was also convinced that –
All Scripture is God-breathed and useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work -1 Timothy 3:16.
God’s grace and knowledge based on God’s Word redirected my intellect, and the totality of my life experience including my clinical work.
God understands the deep cries of the human soul. He provides a way to connect us back with Himself, with our own self, and with others. Jesus Christ’s work on the cross speaks eternal love to the human heart. As we study His Word and cooperate with the Holy Spirit, we enter in a journey of faith based on knowledge. This journey leads us to enjoy God and to seek godly pursuits.
God uses discomfort, disappointment, losses and pain to help people look at their inner life, their deeper needs so they can make serious changes concerning beliefs, affections, emotions, will, and actions.
Significant mental, emotional, and spiritual wholeness is more than behavioral modification and requires more than psychotherapy. It requires God’s intervention.
He pursues us with passion and speaks to us through life’s circumstances to teach us truth about love, grace, forgiveness, peace, security, power and purpose.
Seeing ourselves, others, and life through God’s perspective (His Word), we learn to accept ourselves, give up unrealistic expectations, stop seeking or demanding perfection. We don’t endure life, we see it as a gift. We learn to receive and offer forgiveness. Our priorities, habits, desires, attitudes change substantially.
When our wounded hearts are touched by God’s love, our relational struggles decrease significantly. Pain, disappointment, and conflict are viewed as opportunities to trust the Lord at a deeper level. We become increasingly aware of Christ’s presence in our life and willing to impact peoples’ lives with truth and grace.
My commitment as a professional Christian counselor is to help my clients find solutions for their struggles in principles based on the authority of God’s Word. With the help of the Holy Spirit, I work with them to address and resolve issues of their inner life. I believe in promoting Christian character and healthy relationships that honor the Lord and demonstrate the power of the Gospel.
